When you live alone and not in a relationship (I refuse to use the word single) there is only one thing you need to survive – your so-called “FRIENDS”.. I never really gave this term much thought since I have always found myself in a shelter of another person's arms. Since I was 13 (Sorry but I did start early... haha.), It was either I was in a relationship or looking out for a new one. One month was too much to bear... And so, imagine my frustration when three months has come past and gone, and I still found myself still singing to the tune of “In this California King Bed, we're ten thousand miles apart... “ – complete with the Rihanna MTV hand gestures.. Hehe. (I suddenly remembered Jewel's imitation of this in the Notting Hill Rooftop!)...
Every single day is lonely – nothing ever really made sense.. I found myself eating my meals alone, searching for a text or an email that somebody somehow remembered me, and constantly picturing myself in an MTV – looking out on a window and crying my heart out for a lost love and broken promises... Sorry for the melodramatic theme – but frustrated artists tend to do this. Haha.
And so I turn to my one and only salvation – FRIENDS.. There are no dull moments with them and it seems like I'm shifted to another world.. I'm meteors apart from my usual self.. I feel cool, crazy, calm, dramatic, and over-the-top down wild.. I was invincible when I am with them.. I found myself laughing to my heart's content... And yet, even though I'm away from my quotodian and routinary ME – everything is so REAL that I don't want to let go of that reality..
There were no pretentions.. I could just be myself with no holds barred and without any fear that someone will have any judgment from the way I talk, react, laugh and eat.. You could act anything you want. You could dress up any way you please.. You could just simply bare it all and be yourself without any fear that someone will raise an eyebrow., It was amazingly REAL.. They tirelessly LISTEN to every story and FEEL every teardrop..
I start to think of them as my private INSURANCE contract.. Not that they were obliged or anything, but every BALIW-BALIWAN episode is covered by this contract.. I think of friendships as an EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT – you spent weeks, months, and years trying to fortify them since you know that these are the people who will catch you no matter how high you fall – no matter how hard you fall flat on your face.. And the greatest thing of it all, it doesn't matter whether you are in relationship or not.. IN-LOVE OR NOT-IN-LOVE, ISSUE OR NO-ISSUE, you are covered by this special INSURANCE CONTRACT..
I remembered sending a text message to RADGER TEDDY (which everyone knows is my bestfriend/fafi) in the wee hours of the morning and it goes like this – “EMERGENCY BEST FRIEND call for Mr. Santos, please call back immediately!” – and just like an automated response callback – I heard his voice and said - “Oh.. Ano na naman friend ang problema, malungkot ka na naman?!?!”.. We spent hours talking that time.. I even forgot how that conversation went but I really did not mind – as long as I heard his voice – I feel a whole lot better..
The same thing goes with our adopted anak-anakan, MARK JEWEL (Radger, Jewel and I form an unusual family setup which actually works and feel damn good!) – He would send an almost empty message in the morning that goes like – ;( – and mabilis pa sa alas 8, we would textback showing one's concern over the latter – and either FAFI (Raj) or ME would text each other lalo na if may work yung isa and text – pakitawagan naman yung anak mo.. nagbabaliw-baliwan na naman.. and one will reach out and call our beloved anak.. and the awkward thing about this is that – it felt so NATURAL – these two people have actually drawn a special place in my heart and I regard them much closer than a real brother.. And do you ever get that feeling na sa sobrang dalas nyo magkasama, you would guess kung anu yung isusuot nung isa and anu yung oorder-in sa resto, and anu yung magiging reaction nya and komento nya sa mga bagay-bagay.. and in the same way, you would feel if something is not right with them.. you feel how they feel and cry over their pain..
OVER AND OUT to my extended family, I feel blessed to have known other guys who has also made an imprint to my lonesome life.
GRACE BULABOS, whose intimidating beauty managed to find peace in our company (super ganda nman kasi tlaga!)... and yet the pagka -ATE attitude never wores out.. I find it comforting to find someone who will actually tell you stuffs like “Oh gago ka pala, eh bakit mo ginawa yun!” and “Bayaran mo nga muna yung mga credit card mo kasi!”.. I see her as my real ate.. (apart from my biological ate which I really miss!)
LOUIE AMBROSIO, whose commanding presence will never fail to illicit a smile or light up a crowd.. Although he will text you stuffs like “Hu u?” and “Ang tagal nyo mag-reply matutulog na lang ako!?!?” --- we still love him to bits.. I will never forget how he confronted me one time and uttered – “Haay. Naku. Wag ka dun friend! Sana dun ka nman sa maayos mapunta!”.. I was moved ..
PATRICK BRION, everyone's VIVI.. and Ate Grace's ANAK KONG PANDA.. We always miss his vintage “checkered” style and his out-of-nowhere comments which boosts an atmosphere.. But hidden from those laughs and frequent hirit of “EEEEE! Kasi nman eh.. Sabay hila ng buhok. Hehe!), I found a bonafide individual and a true friend...
BENISON CAMBE, whose new haircut made me miss him all the more last time.. Hehe.. My sleeping buddy since we randomly found ourselves kapag nakikitulog sa malaking kama ni MARK JEWEL.. Hehe.. I miss his dance moves and down-to-earth personality and we love him for that! (Special thanks to the bicol express from his ate and mom on his bday! Hehe)
RACHEL GOMEZ – the banoffee pie queen.. and whose “healthy” personality makes us love her all the more.. peace! Rachel! Haha.. Her sweetness made me love her from the very first time we sat together on the bus to Hounslow.. Hehe.. Sana lang mas makasama sya more often. Hehe.
There are other guys too.. In fact, I found some friends in the PINAKURAT guys, whom I found very unassuming and welcoming.. (especially Gracey Jans which I miss terribly!)Special thanks ulit to Kuya Matt, Dodong, Kuya Pao, Yssa, Kuya Lord, Ate Ghie and many others.. I admire the way they regard each other as family and I found another breath of life in them.. They were hilariously funny, humble, and I saw a sense of family belonging in them.. They were always there to support each other and take care of one another.. I wish I could spend sometime with them too..
THE weirdest thing of it all – I haven't known them all for a long-time – but with the way they treat me and bring out another dimension of myself which I didn't know existed, I would never trade these friendships with anything... I feel like I have known them my whole life..
Finally, let me say this -- With all my heart, Thank you very much for being my LIFE in the TUNNEL.. Now I could truly say, I am blessed – FOR I HAVE FOUND YOU..
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