Never stand still...

Today, I had an interview at the King's College Hospital NHS Trust. I'm guilty as charged. I have been job-hunting again. Yet again.

At another turning point in my short-lived nursing career, I stood before the "juste milieu" of the Wellington ICU North, took a deep breath and recollect my thoughts. Then, I came to realize that there is not a person in the unit that I would like to swap nursing career with. No offense to my supportive colleagues but I felt like a rock on a surging stream -- stagnant and stale. This has added fuel for my burning hunger to a more challenging and fomenting post.

Everything seems to be routinary and mechanical. It has finally dawn on me that, yes, it is official -- my current work is getting too comfortable to the point of appeasing exhaustion. I felt like I wanted to learn so much more in the field of ICU Nursing. But then I was debilitated by the amount and nonchalance of the cases and the type of patients that I handle.

After a rocky start to my morning, I braved a full hour of confusing and rain-filled travel to Denmark Hill. I was late, but pleasantly surprised that the facilitators did not kick me out -- given the strict instruction on their invitation to interview letter that late-comers would not be even given the slightest opportunity to take on the coveted post.

After a group scenario part of the day take its close, the exams came next. And what better way to do your drug calculations when you do not have a calculator in hand. With hundreds and thousands of microgram per kg per minute in question, I was not really at my best. After all, this was not the hospital I was really keen on taking on.

So on two particular items, my answer was something like this -- " NO CALCULATOR :( ". Nonetheless, I still put on a chivalrous face for the interviews. Then it was over -- I have no expectations since I did not have any objective in the first place.

A call at 1730 hours cleared things away, I DID GET THE POST THAT I APPLIED FOR... They would like to have me on their team. One exciting twist though -- they want me to re-sit the exam, but this time -- with the best reliable calculator I could ever have.

I did not know how to feel -- all the more what to say. I have a couple of interviews coming up but I would like to keep all my options open. I suppose life is all about taking the risk -- "the right kind of risks" though, as the tough lessons in life has thought me.

Maybe this could be the start of something really enthralling. It could propel me to bounds and leaps which I never thought possible. It might surprise me to find capabilities and pressure-bound nursing virtues which I never thought existed. I do not want to stop learning and to refuse to give in to the appeal of the dormant corners of my current employment.

I am still uncertain of where this current job-hunting will take me.

But one thing is for sure, I will not take a long while...

I will not stand still.

NEVER STAND STILL.